Amen
by Shizuka no Taisho
Summary: "…" Sighing, Matt rubbed his neck. Dammit. "…..ok, look man. This is all going to sound reeeally stupid to you. Sorry. I'm pretty bad at this shit. It's waaay out of my comfort zone, y'know? Church, religion-you. Not really my thing. I just thought we should have a heart to heart. Yeah. 'Cause I've got some stuff to say to you."


_Wrote this a while back, and I finally decided to upload it on here. Yeah. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, or Matt. Duh. _

"…..ok, look man. This is all going to sound reeeally stupid to you. Sorry. I'm pretty bad at this shit. It's waaay out of my comfort zone, y'know? Church, religion-you. Not really my thing. Never has been. It's Mello's. He's probably your biggest fan. Reads the Bible and everything. Hell, he's probably got it memorized by now. Dude could recite it, if you asked him to. And he'd do it too! But uh…" shit. He sounded like a moron. This was probably promo material for Heaven's funniest holy videos, or something. "…" Sighing, Matt rubbed his neck. Dammit. "C'mon man, cut me some slack. Isn't there, like, a manual I could be reading? Talking to God for Dummies? How to rap with Jesus 101?" Fuuuuuck. Rambling. The redhead raked gloved fingers through his hair, grumbling under his breath. Geez. This was so retarded. What was he supposed to do? Babble on to some invisible, all powerful force that could magically hear anything he said, but that he couldn't see, hear, touch? Ughh. It sounded about as stupid as he felt.

"Yeah. Ok." Tossing away his pride, he approached the altar and frowned as the gilded cross behind it flickered in the candlelight. Holy powers, do your stuff. Give him the strength to…well, to not walk out and forget all about this, for one. Because like it or not, he had to do this. "Alright….God. Jesus. Holy Ghost dude. Just thought we should have a heart to heart. Yeah. 'Cause I've got some stuff to say to you." Matt jabbed his finger towards the cross, mouth pursed. He was so gonna get a holy smiting for this.

"God? You. You are a complete and utter DICK."

The candlelight didn't even flicker. Nevertheless, he smacked the air with his palm, glowering at the cross. "Nope. No interrupting dude. You're gonna listen. You think you can do whatever you want, don't you, just 'cause you've got holy JedI powers and, y'know, kinda rule the world? Psh! Yeah right! Way I see it, you're long overdue for an overthrowing man. Or at least a stern talking. I mean, do you even realize the amount of shit you put people through? And not just me man! Mello, Near! The other kids back at Wammy's. Fuck, the entire world!" Throwing his arms out, Matt laughed, off kilter and a wee bit crazy sounding. "Get up to date with current events dude. You're letting some wannabe Abercrombie model MURDER people and call himself God of the new world! Aren't you, oh, I dunno, supposed to DO SOMETHING about that shit? What happened to the good, old fashioned rage fests you used to do? That old testament shit!"

Silence. Matt growled. "Eden! The great flood! Moses and...shit, what's his name….Ramses! Yeah! You sent a bunch of plagues after him! Why not Kira? A few good plagues would knock his sorry ass right off that pedestal! And he deserves them more! He's fucking crazy!" Crazy was an understatement. Then again, he wasn't exactly doing so well on the sanity scale either. Not with an invisible clock ticking over his head, counting down till the day when…well, you get the picture. Thank God-ha-that nobody was listening in to all this, 'cause they'd be shipping him off to the loony bin so fast, his head would spin. Maybe he'd get lucky though. A few lightning bolts would be a pretty quick end. He was more than earning them. "Tell me something, _God_. I know we've all supposedly got 'free will', but I thought killing was wrong? Isn't that a big no no in your book? Thou shall not kill, or some shit?" Stubborn, Matt climbed on top of the altar table. His boots had just enough of a heel to put him face to face with the giant cross, and he poked it, green eyes glinting furiously behind his goggles. "Well, Kira's sure doing a hell of a lot of that. And what're you doing about it? Oh, that's right. Jack SHIT! What, you want all of us to do your dirty work for you? Want us to take him down for you, get our own hands dirty?"

That one he already knew the answer to. "Sorry. Forgot. You don't get involved in politics anymore. You leave that to us little people. Your _devout followers_." He snorted. "Hate to tell you this man, but I wouldn't even be here if not for Mello. He's the only fucking reason I'm wasting my time talking to you now." Mello. For him, Matt would go to hell and back, and he'd be smiling the whole fucking time. "I wasn't exaggerating when I said he was your biggest fan. He's reeeally into you. Prays all the time, begs for forgiveness. Honestly dude, it's kinda creepy. But-" teeth nibbled the corner of his mouth, picking at the chapped skin. Anxious now. "….I dunno. It's some weird, Catholic thing. He just wants to do right by you. And himself, but that's just Mello. He's always been kind of a self centered prick." Matt chuckled, a tinge of sadness coloring his voice. What anger he had was fast seeping away, and worry was taking its place. "…..he's got some crazy plan to take down Kira dude. It-it's insane. He's gonna get himself killed, I know it. I think he does too. …..fuck, I think that's what he WANTS. His own form of atonement, or whatever. And he wants me to help him." A long pause, and then he slowly bowed his head. There was a stinging in his eyes. Shit, he wasn't gonna do this. Not here, not now. But….

"Your holyship. God. If someone's gotta die, I'd rather it be me. I'm nobody. Won't be missed. Your pal Satan's probably got a nice lava pit waiting with my name written aaaall over it. But Mello?" His voice cracked, went hoarse. "He doesn't deserve that. He…he deserves to be up there. With you, and your angel pals. He'd probably look pretty good with a set of wings. Really holy and mystical like. Way cooler than a mafia overlord." …. "you'll forgive him for that, right? It wasn't really Mello's fault. Like I said, he's just trying to beat Kira. If you ask me, that's practically the same as Moses and the gig you two had. And Moses was a cool guy, right? You liked him. He got to go to Heaven. You kept him s-safe."

Ah shit. Matt wiped his cheek, stubborn and gritting his teeth. Not gonna cry, and he wouldn't beg. "…..I want you to do that for Mello. Keep him s-safe. After all the shit you've put us…him through, it's the least you can fucking do." Understatement of the century. Lifting his gaze back to the cross, the gamer glared at it. A fierce effect, save for his trembling shoulders and teary eyes. "You screwed me over God. You let mom-that bitch…y-you fucking…and then Mello! All the stuff he's been put through! His fucking face! Do you even know how close he was to dying? Do you even CARE?! 'Cause I do! He almost died! And he's definitely gonna now, if you don't fucking do something! If you don't keep him safe!" He was shouting at the top of his lungs. It radiated through the church, and Matt embraced every word. "I'm no Jedi man! I don't have m-mystical powers, or otherworldly forces! I can't do the same shit you can! But that's not gonna stop me! I can't let him do this alone, and no way is he gonna back down now. Kira, the world-it's on our heads, and Mello's ready to throw himself on the chopping block if he has to!"

No. Mello was ready to die. So was Matt, for him. But not without getting something in return.

"I'll die for him God. Fucking willingly. But don't you DARE fucking let him die too! You hear me, oh great and powerful overlord? Don't you dare fucking let Mello die! If you've gotta have your pound of flesh, then take mine. Take ME. I don't care! I probably deserve it! Not him though. Not. FUCKING. MELLO." A harsh, ragged scream tore through his lips, and Matt crashed to his knees on the altar, clutching the air before the cross, chest heaving and arms shaking. "Take me instead! Let him live, and I-I'll fucking die a thousand deaths. I don't even care! You can use me as your own personal whipping boy, if that's what you want. Hell, throw me in a pit of boiling magma! Let the devil use my ribs as a xylophone! Whatever! But please!" He let the tears fall, and they dripped down his cheeks, splattered his palms. Matt shuddered. "Please...Jesus-God….I-I'm sorry for all the shit I said. It was stupid. I know it was. And I know it's not your fault, all this. We've all got our destinies, yeah? Can't be helped. You can save him though. He doesn't have to die!"

Apologies. Shit, how low he'd sunk. Yet he pressed on, desperate for his final plea to be heard. The only plea that really mattered. "Please….just….please." Wiping his face, Matt shakily climbed off the altar, respectfully nodding his head to the cross and backing away. Towards the door. Leaving. He just prayed his voice would be heard. "Fucking please. Keep him safe. Don't let him die. Not for this. Not for m-them. He's t-too good for that. H-he deserves to grow old, he happy with someone. Shit, he deserves a chance at a good life! But if he dies, he can't have that." His back touched the church doors, and the redhead bit his lip. Time to leave. He couldn't risk saying anything more. Except this. "I…I know I don't deserve to ask for anything. Fuck, I don't even know if I really believe in any of this. But if you're real, and you're watching this…" Matt gulped, opening the door. "…..throw a dog a bone, ok?"

The church was silent. Peaceful. Or was it a rejection? "….sorry I called you a dick," he mumbled, dejection setting in. "You're really not all bad. Some of your fans are crazy, but you-you're ok. For an invisible guy in the sky. I guess." A soft thud; the doors shut in his face. Matt stared at the polished wood, seeking some sign of…what? Wish granted? Prayers heard? Ha. When was shit ever that simple? "Guess it was too much to ask for on such short notice. I mean, you're a busy guy. People to save, more important prayers to answer. Prayers from actual believers. Not like me." He blinked away tears. Dammit. "…..yeah. Guess I'll be going now. Uh-hope your altar's ok. My boots are kinda dirty. Mello keeps telling me to clean them." Tch. After all this was over, that's the last thing they had to worry about. He flinched, turning away and slowly walking off, hands in his pockets. Yet he wasn't done. A few more words floated through his head. It was a quiet prayer. One just for them. Maybe one more real, more important than a fearful plead against death. One that he didn't hear, but something certainly did, candles giving the smallest of flickers within the stone and wood building behind him, cross alit with a warm, golden hue.

'Please. Watch over him. Mello. Keep him in your thoughts. He's an asshole, but I love him, and I…I think he really deserves it. Don't let his love go to waste. He did some stupid shit these past years, but you can forgive that, right? We all make mistakes. It's human. He really loves you though, God, and I….I just don't think he deserves to get screwed over anymore. 'Cause if anyone has earned your love…if there's anyone who's really, truly repentant…it's him. So love him dude, and keep him in your thoughts. Please. For me. For him. That's all I ask. All I want.'

…..Amen.


End file.
